One thing that's been in and out of my head constantly is how much guilt I feel about the wrong things I do. Not just the wrong things, but the things that I feel I should be doing and am not. I see other Christians do such great things in Jesus' name and I can't help but feel guilty for not being part of it - not fulfilling my potential, not living out my destiny or being who God called me to be.
I feel so guilty for doing, well.... nothing for him really. I see all the other Christians at school doing amazing proactive things while I sit at home.
And I just feel so bad for not wanting to do anything. I don't feel the passion to pray for our school, or to spark up outreaches or attend prayer meetings. The fire has kinda fizzled out and I'm not doing much for the expansion of God's kingdom.
And I just feel so darnned guilty about it.
Ahh, but that's then He comes and shows me truth and gives me hope (wow bring on the cheese-fest).
I have this one friend who kinda inspires me to be a better person. It's the influence - it's very subtle and I've only noticed it now. I just find myself wanting to change for the better. And gosh I hope it not subconsiously to impress them. lol
But God was like, that's what He wants to do for me. You see, your Christian life is a result of the relationship with God. Your behaviour, ministry, words, all come out of hanging out with Him all the time. You just can't help but reflect Him - you know, being His light in this dark world.
Because who you hang out with slowly rubs off to you and you start to mirror them. Not in an obvious "oh-my-gosh-I-shall-copy-everything-you-say-and-do-from-now-on" kind of a way. But ever so slightly you pick up on what they say and do and adopt it as your own. God wants to be that kind of influence. That by hanging out with Him more and just being conscious of Him him everywhere all the time, He starts to rub off on you. I mean, His spirit's already in us, but it's his personality we take time to adopt.
So I shouldn't feel bad for not being the perfect Christian - I should be more concerned about the fact that I've been snobbing Him for ages. Christianity starts with Him. If He's not your prime focus - then you're doing it wrong. I shouldn't worry about my actions because who we are on the outside is the fruit. And no fruit grows unless you do the behind-the-scene work. Like conversing with Him, reading His word, just allowing yourself, myself, to be influenced by Him.
Who you hang out with has an impact on how you act. So hang out with Him.